heaven & co

J A N U A R Y

+ Jeff and I got the great opportunity of traveling to Peru with a team here and it was so amazing. In fact, we actually followed up with the team lead from Peru a few months ago and it felt like the trip just happened. As we discussed a few follow up questions, I was reminded of what the Lord taught me during that trip. First off, I don't know anything about what it means to live on mission and it humbled my heart. In fact, I really didn't know what it'd be like to walk into this, but once we got there, all of my heart was ready to say yes to it all. One of the girls asked Jeff and I what we would do if the Lord ever called us to live outside of our comfort zone and I He made clear for us the answer to that.

F E B R U A R Y

+ Two months into the new year and I was slowly adjusting to my role as children's coordinator within the church. In retrospect, I wish they didn't spring it on me so suddenly just so I could prepare myself a little more in advance. Nonetheless, getting to serve alongside of my partners this past year has been an incredible journey and I've enjoyed every moment of it.

It took me a long while to realize this, but when I first got to Kansas, there was so much fear in me. I looked at other pastor's wives and asked many times how they could spend so much of themselves and be with their people without feeling like they needed time away or time alone. I love people, I really do, but I had to ask the Lord to work through me because I knew I still needed to learn what it looked like to truly love them.

When you ask God, He hears and will answer. In this case, he's turned my heart to love people so much so that I find myself wanting to give my all to be with them without worry of tomorrow.

M A R C H

+ I picked up my oils again after using them inconsistently for three months. I actually got my kit back in November and then we went on our trip and they just kind of sat on my dresser. Anyway, I picked them up again and started using them a little more consistently. It's been about a year since I've had my kit and for real, I can't look back. Oils are so neat to me and I'm glad I started using them.

A P R I L

+ This month, our youth group held a small revival and our Indy fam came to visit! They stayed with us in our very small apartment and it was the most fun. Other than that, I'm having a really hard time recollecting the different events that happened. Ha!

M A Y

+ Off for summer break finaaaaaally. It's been a hard year at the school honestly. At this point, I was dragging myself to school everyday not just because I was ready for summer break, but because I didn't want to be there anymore, period. The last couple months of working at the school was incredibly stressful because of certain situations and it was a really bad environment for me. The kids are amazing and will always make it worth it. I feel like I have a pretty high tolerance for things like this, too but I just couldn't see myself in that place anymore. Summer break did finally come --- thankfully --- and I had my mind set on finding another job amid a ton of traveling!

J U N E

+ This month, Jeff and I celebrated two years of marriage. It was a sweet one because we got to visit our family in Indiana and celebrated Andrew & Lia's union. This was also the month that I found out I was pregnant. Though short lived, I enjoyed having this sweet secret all to ourselves. It was like something in us had changed almost immediately and we were preparing ourselves to be parents. It was unexpected, sudden, but so so sweet and special all at the same time.


J U L Y

+ Of course, June came and I quickly learned that I miscarried. For better lack of words, it felt like a sucky summer, but as I look back, I knew the Lord was walking with us the entire time. Even though Jeff and I had experienced a hard thing, it wasn't the end for us. I remember idly walking through each day and I didn't even feel like I was all there.  I remember going to sleep at night and among the literal darkness, I felt so alone in this open space. It was a tough time, but it didn't happen without purpose and we know that God used that event

+ Jeff had the great opportunity to speak at SALT which was fun. I got to attend and ended up not doing anything -- which was pretty nice, not gonna lie. That week, I wrote to my supervisor at the school and ended up giving her my two weeks and accepted a new position at an insurance agency.

A U G U S T

+ So here we are .... I started a new position at the insurance agency and it felt like the right decision in terms of jobs/careers/future plans. I went back and forth with whether or not I should stay at the school knowing full well that I'd be leaving mid-way through the school year or if I should start a new job ... again, knowing I'd be leaving soon. In retrospect, I am so glad I decided to take this other position because it's opened new doors for me and I actually enjoy it a ton. Often days, I feel like I leave the office so fried, but each day I go in with a refreshed mind and all is well again. I joke all the time that I feel like the Lord has totally made me for the mundane things of life ... aka my office job. It's weird because some people will totally hate it, but for me, I don't mind it so much.

S E P T E M B E R

+ This month, Jeff and I spent a lot of time in prayer for our next move. So much back and forth and trying to come up with all the ways to make things work. In the end, we decided we're going to move forward by going back home, spend some time in school and see where the Lord leads us from there. Just two months ago, things looked SO different because we had planned everything around a baby, but since the miscarriage, everything has changed. And though everything has changed, it's okay.

O C T O B E R

+ Took a day off of work for my birthday -- I know, who does that?! Lol. But I did because I don't ever take days off and I desperately needed a day off. Jeff and I celebrated with a little shopping and eating out at Korean BBQ -- he always has a way of making me feel so special! Also, he bought me a Cricut Maker!!! My gooossssh ... they're expensive, but they're helping me to achieve all of my crafting dreams!

+ Oh, also --- Jeff and I got a DOG! Technically, a puppy and omg, if this is what it feels like to love a dog then I might go crazy when we have a baby one day. It was a spontaneous decision, yes. Nonetheless, we've enjoyed seeing Shepherd grow and learn and as a result, we're learning lots, too. Discipline for sure and learning that we need to be our best in order for him to be his best --- aka --- going on walks and getting out there, ya know. Also, I've quickly learned that having a dog is a great conversation starter.

NOVEMBER

+ Took a quick weekend trip to visit our friends in Iowa, Sala and Chuyee! It's a long overdue trip. We told them we'd visit when they were in Michigan and now that they're closer again, we had to make the trip out to see them. Traveling out to see friends for Thanksgiving makes me feel like a true adult. Lol. I'd be lying though if I said I didn't want to be with family around this time of the year. Jeff and I had major FOMO as we looked through photos and our hearts longed to be home with our families.

DECEMBER

+ Alas --- the end of the year. My last day at the agency was before we left for Thanksgiving break so as of December, I was no longer working and instead, filled every hour with packing and then either throwing away or donating all the unwanted things. I wanted to hold on to everything, not because I wanted all of it, but some pieces were sentimental to me and I wanted to keep them to remind me of our time here in KS. Jeff and I joke that we should have named our dog Kansas.

+ Amid the crazy packing and such, my family pitched in for tickets and flew us home for the holidays. My heart, y'all. First off, I love going home for the holidays. Secondly, I've always loved this idea of family and I can't tell you how much I love mine. Though completely dysfunctional and in need of so much grace, each of us, I've loved how the Lord has grown us year after year. And each year, making known His faithfulness all the more.