heaven & co

- Even though I woke up dreading the rain, I'm very much thankful for it.
- Thankful for such a thing as ... Christmas music.
- ... for super late night talks about nothing with my roomie.
- Although I have so much work to do, I'm thankful for an "underwhelmed" heart. :)
- Thankful that God provides just enough.
- As a broke college girl, I'm thankful for cheap finds today!
- Thankful that I have a job to go back to when I go home.
- When I look back into the past, I realize that God was working in it to bring what I now have in the present and for that, I am thankful.

As you well know, my brother has been going through some difficulties in his life. This past weekend, I was so encouraged by his group of friends. It was about 1am and his friends had circled around him outside in the cold to talk to him and to let him know that they're there when he needs them. It was so refreshing to see these guys do this kind of act. It's because they're his friends and that's what friends do. They don't do it everyday, but they've proven that when/if you're facing difficulties, they're the kind of friends that would be there. That's it! It was their presence, their care, their love that was in the air, but no one actually said, "I love you." but that was okay! I think we can all learn from this ... including myself. Sometimes, I wish I had friends like that but the question is ... am I being that kind of friend?

Definitely a good wake up call for me as all I saw in this world was me and Jesus. I forget that people exist and people have feelings and people need other people ... people like friends. :)

I've come to a point in my life where I have become so unmotivated in every single way. Like .... in every way possible. I hate being here, I really do. "Here" as in at this unmotivated point in my life. I've become unmotivated to "do" school, work, or exercise. It's not that I'm quitting or whatever, it's just that it's close to the end of the year and I'm gaining to mindset of wanting to stop and just really wanting the holidays.
Um, but the good news is that I'm very easily motivated and inspired, so I think I should be okay. ;)

... on a different note, I love hearing that my brother is learning a lot at this time in his life. For so long, I've prayed for God to work in his heart and all along, that's exactly what He's been doing. I was almost going to say, "He's finally doing it.. God's finally heard my prayers and is moving now" but the reality of the truth is that He's been doing it all this time ... working in my brother's heart and even leading him to pray the prayer, "Work in me, let me be used for Your glory.." So much to the point where He's had to give and take away from my brother's life. I bet my brother feels so much pain, but all I see is beauty in this. It's going to be awesome when he takes a look back at this time, I'm sure he'll say the same. Today he posted a clip of the song he was singing .... "I'll turn my vices into victory. The power of Christ has set me free. You've broken my chains ... in You, I'm saved.." Excited for what He'll reveal to him.


Now .... I really have to get to work and conquer this paper that I have to start and finish tonight.

I love that today is Friday. I love that even though I've had so many different moods today, God is still the same, unlike my forever changing self. I love that I didn't fall asleep in bio today. I love that time went by so fast in that class. You know how people are always like, "...then I looked at the clock and it was time to go.." yeah, that was me. I love that even though it's raining and all gloomy outside, I can come back inside and relax in the comfort of my own room where the heat has been filling since morning. I love that even though I'm on the verge of getting a cold, I'm not deathly ill, and on the plus side, I'm gaining that voice that I've always wanted. I love that I don't feel overwhelmed right now. I love that I'm getting into books. I'm currently reading Kisses from Katie and it's been beautiful.

I don't like knowing that my brother is hurting and I can't do anything to ease the pain he must be feeling. I hate that out of the simplest things, people turn it around and make it complicated. I hate that all of my Saturdays have been so busy. I hate that I can't even get my schedule done for classes next semester. :(


Time to sleep now.

"Standing on this mountain top, looking just how far we've come, knowing that for every step, You were with us. Kneeling on this battle ground, seeing just how much You've done, knowing every victory was Your power in us. Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy, our hearts can say .... never once did we ever walk alone."

... I am finding so much truth in those lyrics today and it makes me want to shout and sing praises. God is so good and even if/when I find myself in situations where I feel like I can trust no more, God is pulling at my heart through it all and reminding me that He is still God ... no matter what. So if you're facing uncertainty today, know that God is still God no matter what.

Dr. Jeff Adams came to speak this week for chapel on the topic of "missions" and he was amazing. The more I reflected on the things he said, the more I saw Christ in him and Christ at his center. It was such a good refresher to see a man of God speaking ever so boldly about his love and passion in reaching out to those in need of the Good News and for those that have yet to even hear it. There was a line he had said that I held onto ... maybe because I needed to hear it.

What do you do when you don't know what to do?   

Do what you know to do now and stop worrying about what you don't know. When you are walking in the spirit of God, there are no wrong turns. 

The more I spend my time here, the more I realize how unfocused I've been. It's ironic because although we're not called to perfection, this is a place where we're given opportunities to get focused and here I am on a totally different page. It just shows where my heart truly is .... and clearly, it's not in the right place. I often see myself struggling and refuse to admit it, but what if I just allowed myself to be challenged? What if I took it in as a really good thing?

On a totally different note, worship leaders are so cute. That came to my attention when I was kinda staring at one of the worship leaders in chapel the other day ... I have no shame.


There are so many things to praise God for today. The weather is beautiful, classes are over, and it's Friday. I'm trying to learn to not base the goodness of God solely on the goodness that I get out of a day. I seem to have the mindset that if I have good circumstances, then "God is with me today," when He is always with us, especially through the unwanted circumstances. I just wanted to share a little bit from my Jesus Calling devotionals because they've been hitting the spot each time and I believe they can do the same for you wherever you are in life right now ....

You can live as close to me as you choose. I set up no barriers between us; neither do I tear down barriers that you erect. People tend to think their circumstances determine the quality of their lives. So they pour their energy into trying to control those situations. They feel happy when things are going well, and sad or frustrated when things don't turn out as they'd hoped. They rarely question this correlation between their circumstances and feelings. Yet it is possible to be content in any and every situation. Put more energy into trusting Me and enjoying My Presence. Don't let your well-being depend on your circumstances. Instead, connect your joy to My precious promises: I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I will meet all your needs according to My glorious riches. Nothing in all creation will be able to separate you from My Love.  - Jesus Calling