Work in Progress

I had a very good conversation with my roommate tonight that lead to rivers of tears and two wasted rolls of perfectly good toilet paper. Basically, we talked about friendship ... and I was so humbled. Truthfully speaking, being humbled isn't always the best feeling, but I'm glad it happens, because I needed it and the Lord planned it well. 

Through our conversations, I was reminded of the friendship between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel. During the many times that King Saul had attempted to kill David, Jonathan, son of King Saul, stood by David's side. With an understanding that David would be next to the throne, Jonathan stepped aside, spoke against his own father, gave his belongings away to David because he loved him as his own soul (1 Samuel 18:1) and said to David, "Whatever you ask, I will do" (1 Samuel 20:4). 

Over the past weeks, a reoccurring theme has popped up over and over again. Bringing to light the things I'm uncomfortable with; the areas in my life that need attention; areas of weaknesses. This is one of them.  

I have seen the depths of my own heart in the midst of friendship and at the core of it is selfishness. It begs me to question if I'm worthy of being called a friend. It forces me to reflect on my own actions and think about whether or not I've laid my own life down for others like Jonathan (ultimately, like Christ) has for David and if I've ever even taken on an attitude like that of Jonathan's and willingly spent myself by doing what's been asked of me for the sole purpose of loving a friend and loving that friend well. I am a work in progress.

I am encouraged to know that God is using each opportunity to bring me back to Him and that all of this only magnifies Him because I boast not in myself, but in the power of Christ for His grace is sufficient for me. I believe that and I so pray that this life would be less of me and more of Him ... because this world does not need more of Heaven, it needs more of Jesus.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9